HARVARD – Only THREE spots remain open for this year’s Fatty. At this point, please CONTACT the front office before you send anything in to avoid disappointment…we’ll do our best to accommodate everyone, but a waiting list is next…

KEWADIN – Oh, my…but Truck isn’t the only “formerly” fat Fat Bastard as Scott “UKR” Richards and his lovely missus and superfan, Amy, have become shadows of them-former-selves, dropping a combined 80 pounds over the off-season.

After swearing off potato chips, UKR is expected to show off his leaner form, playing once again this year with new teammates “Wy-Wy” and “Ooh, La La” in a replay of last year’s coed debut.

Congratulations to you both and we’ll see you in August!

HARVARD – The moment we’ve all been waiting for since last August has arrived: Registration is now OPEN for the 2009 Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Tournament – Celebrating a Decade of Debauchery.

As always, the Fatty is open to the first 28 teams, including any players and spectators aged 21 and over. This year’s event will benefit the Autism Society of Kent County and the Liam Kelbel Fund. For all the details and information on how to acquire a registration packet, please see the 2009 Tournament Page. Do not delay…this tournament always sells out very quickly.

We’ll look forward to seeing you at Harvard Yards!

PITTSBURGH – Word has reached the Fatty front offices that our list of thespians may be growing. Sen. Robert J. Byrne (I-Sparta) is reportedly in negotiations for a remake of Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy’s film, 48 Hours.

Byrne is shown here rehearsing with co-star Nolte.

“I’d consider myself a method actor,” stated Rob.

The project is working under the title 48 Hour Bender and, if completed as scheduled, is expected to be released in 2011.

Spread the word

I Am A Craft Brewer from I Am A Craft Brewer on Vimeo.

“I’m drunk. Help me.”

- Dan “Private” Ryan, showing up at the doorstep of Harvard Yards at 7:30 a.m. on a Sunday morning, before “napping” a bit on the couch.

ROCKFORD – Its last call for the 7th Annual Mad Scramble Golf Outing! Come join the fearless foursomes for a fun day on the links on June 20th.

Please email your RSVP HERE individually, with a partner or with your foursome!! Sponsorship opportunities are also still available.

Full details HERE.

FIFE LAKE, MI – Hall of Famer and Fatty regulars Hal “Pops” Ringler and Karen “Couch” Ringler were involved in a holiday traffic accident while on their way to a family wedding in Charlevoix over the Memorial Day weekend.

According to police, a pickup was heading southbound on U.S. 131 on Saturday and crashed into the car in front of them, which was awaiting traffic to clear before turning left. The careening vehicle sprung into the northbound lane, which was met by the Fatty-van.

“There was nothing that could’ve avoided the accident,” said the attending sherriff in attendance.

Pops suffered a few bruises, but Ma was ambulanced to Traverse City’s hospital for treatment of a broken rib before being released.

“It was a huge scare for everyone,” said Rings after picking them up at the Hospital, “but fortunately, everyone was wearing a seatbelt and no one was truly hurt.”

Both are expected to be back in form by the time August rolls around.

The following is a shout out from Ron “Don’t Call me” Francis:

I hear that everyone’s Little Buddy, O.B., now has his very own website!

LINK

 Thanks to Ron!

The following is a Shout Out by Trey Sumner:

It is a sad day for the Fatty world…..local authorities have been investigating the allegations that Jeff “Little Buddy” O’Bryan has been running an underground “kitten fighting club” from his swanky Grand Rapids home – it now appears that he was not the only Fatty involved.

You may recall that Trey, Moop and EZ were on the scene when the raid happened but were not charged and were immediately released when they were able to explain their presence with very legitimate alibis. However, two of our fellow Fatties have been pinned to this horrific scandal – Jon “Sugar” Lewis and, most shockingly, Jimmy “Chitwood” Galvan. Galvan is a police officer in the suburbs of Chicago while Sugar works in Grand Rapids as the squeegee boy at the Red Barn.

Evidence suggests that Galvan has been kidnapping homeless kittens from the tough streets of Chicago and enlisting Sugar’s help in smuggling them to OB’s home/training facility/fighting arena.

All three are being detained and were unavailable for comment. Hall of Famer Sen. Rob Byrne responded to the allegations brought against the three. “This just blows me away. I can buy that O’B and Galvan got caught up in something like this, but Sugar? I just don’t believe it. I went to college with the guy for four years and never heard of him coming close to hurting a pussy. Although, he did block me from a few.”