HARVARD YARDS – All good things must come to an end, and so it is with the “World’s Greatest Wiffle Ball Tournament.” It is with a heavy heart and great sadness that the Front Office announces the postponement of the Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Tournament XI this August.

This may come to a shock to many of you, there isn’t any one single reason for this decision, but the culmination of many factors. While we won’t bore you with all of them, suffice it to say there are a few more important than others:

1. Its a helluva lot of work. As a labor of love, its been done with a skip in the step, a grin on our mugs, and a cold beverage in hand…but its still a ton of work. It takes months of preparation, even with the helping hands who are kind enough to pitch in. By mid-August every year, we’ve had enough…and the Monsoon of 2009 didn’t make things any easier.

2. The size is borderline too much. While part of the joy of The Fatty are the friends, Romans and countrymen who make their annual sojurn to Harvard Yards – particularly for the Ice Cream Social - it has nonetheless grown to the point where its getting too big for the humble abode that is Harvard Yards.

3. Harvard Yards is on the market (link HERE and HERE). The other two factors aside, there’s a good chance the front office facilities will be in new hands by the time August rolls around and its unknown whether new grounds can be secured in time to adequately prepare for the Fatty.

There is a very good chance we’re back in 2011, but that remains to be seen. With the blessings of our Fatty friends, this site will not go away, and we hope that it will remain a source of amusement and fond memories long into the future. At the very least, we’ll keep things up to date for Fat Bastard Iraq II and the upcoming Hall of Fame vote – we will induct new members who have earned it regardless of the 2010 calendar.

With that, we’d like to thank each and every one of you, who has participated in one way or another over the years. It’s been a helluva decade!

“Drink good beer, cherish your friends and laugh at yourself.”

- The Fatties

LUDINGTON – What a weekend!

A few Fatties took a run up the West Coast for their annual “Boys’ Weekend” at the actual setting for The Shining in the world’s oldest motel, where they were promptly checked in at the Stearns Motor Inn by Clint Howard, once everyone’s signature was properly verified.

This was only the beginning of the celebrity sightings, however, as Andy “The Big ‘Un” Albertson was pleased to run into Will Geer, of The Waltons fame during a pit stop at Ludington’s local and friendly Moose Lodge #508.

There was a few Schlitz, and much reminiscing…at least until we finally stopped into the Tiki Lounge. Ugh.

GRAND RAPIDS – Some early footage of a young Moop has been discovered. Behold the future flair magic:

The following is an update from Fatty Trey “The Bookie” Sumner, currently stationed in Iraq:

IRAQ -
First off all – thanks for the case of wiffle balls!
We now have leagues set up at 3 different sites – ad Diwoniyah, Al Kut and Tallil – around the country and are finalizing the plans for Fatty Iraq 2010.
Participation has been great! We have had visiting players from the TMC and from ODA and, most recently, had a visit from our BGD XO.

In Fatty tradition, I bet my site commander that I could get him out to play wiffle ball. He agreed and I may have been throwing around just a very small amount of mild smack talk (Moop & EZ: I wish you could have been here!) about getting the chance to beat up on an O5 – turns out he was a baseball star at West Point and was more than happy to come out and play. He was a natural at wiffle ball, but my team played well and we beat his team 8 – 2. He was a great sport about it (can you tell a LTC to get the **** out of your batters box after you strike him out?) as I have yet to see any disciplinary paperwork.

He has also agreed to see if he can find a General to come out next time he visits so that we can have a 2 on 2 match. Although, he wasn’t happy about losing, I think I have a pretty good chance at getting to strike out a fat stack of officer this deployment. If that one happens there will pics and video for sure. Unless I lose…in which case it will have never happened.

- Trey

SPARTA – Congratulations to Andy “The Big ‘Un” Albertson and his fiance, Amy, on their holiday engagement!
We’ll look forward to the plans and wish them the very best as they settle in to their new home!

HARVARD – As seen in the previous couple of posts, our lovable degenerate gambler, Trey “The Bookie” Sumner is currently involved with a government sponsored tour of Iraq, where he is arranging “Fat Bastard Iraq II,” the second national championship tournament.
Due to the extreme conditions and concrete playing surfaces, the wiffle balls they brought along have deteriorated quickly.
“Wiffle is picking up fast  here, and we’re running out of balls…right now, we’re destroying about a dozen balls a month at our site…and there’s two sites playing, with the potential for more” said Sumner in an email to the home office. “We’ve got at least seven more months in country – at a minimum.”
As such, he’s appealed to the Fatties to replenish his supply with a shipment of 150 new balls.
We intend to so so.
In lieu of a fund-raiser, we’re asking any interested Fatties and fans to hit up the DONATION page and throw in $10 to the cause. With the coffers currently dry, we estimate that buying and shipping in bulk should allow us to get the job done for around $200, so 20 of you can make it happen.
Thank you, in advance!
**** UPDATE FROM THE HOME OFFICE: Thank you for a tremendous response from all the Fatties!!! We’re happy to announce that a dozen dozen wiffle balls are on their way to Iraq, as of today, courtesy of Brian at EXCURSIONS Journey to Health online eBay store. Be sure to check him our for your wiffle supplies as well!
Thanks to Brian and all the Fatties who responded so quickly…and thanks, most of all, to our men and women in the Middle East! We’ll look forward to the next update from Fat Bastard Iraq II.

We have finally made it to our FOB and have gotten settled in. Being MEDEVAC, we have a very small number of people on site and most of us are either working or on call at any given moment. Wiffle ball is quickly emerging as the recreation of choice as it is easy to quickly set up and take down and requires only a few people to play. We’ve been playing at least every other day – here are the highlights up to this point.

– SPC Fricke took a hilarious bouncing grounder to the face (a cement flight line isn’t the ideal field surface) but shut everyone up with outstanding hitting to include a beautiful line drive triple in high winds.
– CW4 Bradley hasn’t actually played, but has entertained himself sitting on top of the CHU’s (housing) with a bb gun taking pot shots at everyone on the field. Makes for a more interesting game. I think we should consider adding this in Fatty 2010.
– 1LT Knowels – registered full-blown redneck – verified that he has no athletic talent whatsoever.
(Coming from Sumner, this is high praise, indeed, as we’ve seen his “skills” primarily in his talking game. Of course, we won’t bet on it… – fatties.)
– 1LT Knowels – SFC Lugg proved that old guys still got game. We’ll have some better photos of him in the next round of action.
– SGT Highman is very hairy.
- SGT Malloy has great natural pitching ability – but tried to do some kind of really crazy pitch and pulled an ass muscle. At least, that’s his story. (He was also recently on leave and reportedly lives next to the “wiffle ball museum”)

Looking forward to Fatty Iraq II – should be interesting. Hope everyone is doing well – I’ll keep you updated.
Trey

(click the thumbnails for larger images – opens in new window)

IRAQ – As Trey “The Bookie” Sumner prepares to lead Fatty Iraq II, they’ve asked us to pass along a message for them to Santa.

CINCINNATI – “First Lady” Amy Byrne, a long time member of the ladies Fatty crew – and the spouse of a War Pig - will run her first half-marathon this spring in Cincinnati’s Flying Pig event on May 2, 2010, to benefit The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.
Long time fans will note our support for the local L&L Society back in 2007.
“I am not a runner and have never done anything like this before,” said Amy, who is running to honor a lost friend, Sarah.
You can check out her progress HERE.
The Fatties have made a donation and would hope that you’d consider doing the same.

GRAND RAPIDS – In a shocking event, Fatty favorite Graydon’s Crossing has reportedly suffered a fire early this morning, according to news sources. Long time fans will remember this was also the former Scoreboard Lounge, long time Pigs’ sponsor. Several Fatties have worked in the building and nearly all have patronized its businesses.
Tragically, we also note that Graydon’s is owned by Fat Bastard Hall of Famer Larry “Legend” Zeiser.
Details HERE and HERE.
All our best to Larry and please let any of the local Fatties know if there’s anything we can do.