GRAND RAPIDS – Some of you may recall the Fatties support of The Bridge at Arbor Circle a few years ago. Hall of Famer Susan “Zanner” Sheppard works at this center for local disadvantaged youths in need of support or counseling for substance abuse or behavior issues.

It’s Hunger Walk time again. The Bridge and Kent County need YOUR HELP!

Over 20,000 People are served each month through the network of one hundred food pantries in Kent County. Food services increased 13.5% last year; the rate of children living in poverty in Kent County has risen over 77% since 2000.

The Bridge specifically serves meals to over 450 youth each year and receives a minimum of $3,000 from this event. That dollar amount could be more depending on how much money they are able to raise

This year Arbor Circle’s Youth Development Staff are walking with the YOUTH who directly benefit from this event.

Here is the #1 way for you to participate:

1. Raise money for your Arbor Circle’s YOUTH walking team! Ask your friends, family, and neighbors…Any amount is welcome and appreciated!!

Checks should be made out to: GRACE Hunger Walk. Cash or Check should be sent to Susan Sheppard (see contact below).

The Date of the event is: Saturday 5/1/10
5k or 12k Walk
Check in Time: 8:00am

Contact Susan Sheppard if you are interested. Phone (616) 451-3301 extension 1231 or via email at ssheppard@arborcircle.org.

GUN LAKE – For those who are not aware, congratulations to the Moop & Zanner on their upcoming nuptials. It’ll be a Labor Day of love…

Hit ‘em up HERE.

GRAND RAPIDS – A huge congratulations to long time Fatties Susan “Zanner” Sheppard and Corbin “Moop” Owens, who became engaged last week!

While no details have been set, this will mark the first Fatty nuptials as well as the first members of the  Hall of Fame to tie the knot.
…well, unless you count EZ and Rings‘ longtime romance.

GRAND RAPIDS – The best looking team in wiffle ball has reportedly been out scouring the fashion world for their new uniforms. Our spies have been out as well. Click on the thumbnail for one of the latest proposals…they’re even on sale! And $6 for a three pack is a heckuva deal for the whole team!!

HARVARD – Jimmy “Chitwood” Galvan captured his third Fat Bastard Championship, along with Eric “It’s Good to Be” King and Lonnie “Snoop Drunky Drunk” Rucker, who claimed his second title, in leading Eatin’ Ain’t Cheatin to victory in the championship game, 7-5, overcoming an MVP performance from Ryan “Where You” Breen along with Ben “Spicolli” Taylor of ‘Tween the Bizzos.
Dustin and Elliot Nichols’ squad, How’s Your Wife and My Kids?, defeated We Shaved Our Balls for This? to take the Baxter Bowl crown.
Breen was the home run champion with 11 and also the Big Stick Award Winner. Chitwood was, once again, the Golden Arm winner, while Susan “Zanner” Sheppard won the Best Hands Award.
Other Than That, Mrs. Lincoln, How Was the Play? was voted Best Team Name.
Much more info, including scores, are available on the 2007 Tournament page. EDIT: A photo slide show is now available on the MEDIA page, with over 350 images, including every team and player.
Congratulations to all participants on another stellar chapter in the Fat Bastard fable.

GREENVILLE – The first annual Fat Bastard Winter Fiasco is in the books!
As the year’s kickoff event, the Fatties decended upon The Pavilion indoor sports complex for a day of wiffle and hijinks as 6 random-draw teams competed in a full round-robin schedule which saw the stellar squad of Susan “Zanner” Sheppard, Alan “Kid” Garcia & Mike “Curvy” Lurvey defeat the team of Jon “Sugar” Lewis, Dave “Rings” Ringler, Dan “Soupy Gato” Harris & Amy “First Lady” Byrne in the tie-breaker after each team finished the day with identical 4-1 records.
Zanner, once again, showed off her defensive heroics in the deciding game as Garcia’s pitching arm slammed the door on any comeback attempts.
Here is how the teams stacked up, in order of finish, with their overall record and runs scored/allowed on the day:
1. Zanner, Kid, Lurvey (4-1) 53/36
2. Sugar, Rings, Soupy Gato, “First Lady” Byrne (4-1) 63/40
3. EZ-E, OB, Dut (3-2) 57/54
4. Teddy Ballgame, Dennis “Either” Orr, Francis (3-2) 37/27
5. Larry Legend, “Riser” Zeiser, “Senator” Byrne (1-4) 20/45
6. Trey, Jansma, Mikey Bob (1-4) 40/59
For a full look at the day’s action, check out the slideshow here.
This was a great start for 2007, to be followed by the Mad Scramble on June 16th, of course, the legendary Fat Bastard on August 4th. Keep an eye on your email box for registration information!

The following is a guest column from Susan “Zanner” Sheppard:

What’s in a name?
Quite a lot when you are referring to team names for the annual Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Tournament. Particularly when in the company of some of the quickest wit, subtle (& not so subtle) sarcasm, and enthusiastic banter around. I must admit, it wasn’t until after my rookie year as an official Fatty, that I had an appreciation for the process of team name selection.

My first year was a gimmie, due to my complete naivety and last minute entry, Rings did the honor by declaring my team: “G.L.O.W. Gorgeous Ladies of Wiffle.” I liked it, but then again, I was still oblivious. And who could blame me with Corbin (The Moop) as my guide…Crackers and Ten Inch What???

It started to sink in the next year while sitting outside at The Scoreboard and witnessing many team name discussions, which at times even included multiple pages of written possibilities (most of which I did not even understand). That’s when I realized, I was out of my league. This group, now known to me as “The Fatties” were more than good at this – they were great – they had catalogued in their brains a wealth of movie clips, countless unforgettable moments together, scores of song titles (including showtoons!), scary knowledge of sports history/trivia, and an abundance of other various facts on topics from alcohol to politics, food to foreign countries.

This was serious and I had some work to do. It had to be catchy, it had to be original, it had to be worthy. I was quickly consumed. Team name ideas were coming to me at work, while driving, during meals, in the shower, in my sleep. Every movie I had watched was called to memory, every song, every quote, every funny moment had with this group of people. Soon my own list was forming and numerous phone calls and intoxicated conversations were had.

Then another realization hit me: I was one of two female teams in this tournament! Why didn’t I think of that before? How could we lose with all the options available to us? Any reference to swallowing, boobs, or threesomes was sure to get votes…or at the least nods of approval. So, my second team name – and prize winner was born: Pussy Galore (because you also can’t go wrong with a James Bond reference).

The glory was short lived, however, when I concluded that the gender factor would only take me so far. As I said, this group is great at this. I wasn’t going to be able to use the same (although easy) theme again and count on votes. Therefore, it’s been back to work for me ever since as I now truly understand and embrace the practice of this team name experience…(although I still think Will Swallow is a winner.)

BLAND RAPIDS – Everyone’s favorite play-by-play man, Corbin “The Moop” Owens, has decided to stock up on provisions, in preparation for another trip via government-sponsored tourism of the Middle East.
“Yeah, I’ve been doin’ recon through the garages of my fellow Fat Bastards,” crowed The Moop. “You know that returnables are $.10 in this state! I also set aside one of my favorite photos to take along.”
Reports have both Moop and Zanner parking outside this Winter, as, mysteriously, there is no space in their garage for cars. Speculation abounds as to the sheer volume of PBR within…
The recon exercises and field work are proving good practice for his next journey, likely to begin in June as he ships out with his Marine unit for their second tour “somewhere in the Middle East.”
It’s likely both he and Trey Sumner will miss Fat Bastard VII, while in Iraq. There has been no word as to whether this means the possible second Fat Bastard Iraq National Championship.

The Big ‘Un Forced to Ask Suitors to “Take a Number”
“He has to beat ‘em off with a Stick,” notes Moop.
GRAND RAPIDS – Hall of Famer and newly minted swinging single, Andy “The Big ‘Un” Albertson has turned into a certified Rico Suave. Several fellow Fatties recently enjoyed an evening socially and were amazed as the ladies – large and small – were lining up for a chance at the Big ‘Un’s attention.
“I saw two of ‘em walk in the door and make a beeline straight at him!” explained witness, The Moop. “One of them was pawing his backside and the other was showing off her big ‘eyes’ right in his face. It was nuts!”
“I gotta admit,” concurred Zanner, “he’s got it goin’ on…”
Witnesses described their disappointment as an evening out to discuss wiffle ball turned into a vigil for Albertson as they were forced to await a break in his ongoing conversations with the eye candy.
Commented one young lady, as her time with him ended, “I really wanted to see the Big ‘Un!”

Galvan Stealing the Hearts of Harvard Yards?

STEGER, IL – Two time Fat Bastard MVP, Jimmy “Gay Lovin’” Galvan, or Chitwood, as those in Hickory know him, has apparently been stealing hearts in addition to victories over the 2002-3 seasons. Word began reaching the Commissioner’s office during a recent public showing of the 2003 Fat Bastard Highlight video, when Fatty matriarch Karen “Ilen-ee” Ringler remarked “how cute” Chitwood was at his every onscreen appearance. Each remark was quickly echoed by all females in attendance: “Oh, yes” from Barbie Jean Decker, and “He’s so sweet…I just love ‘im,” agreed Hall of Famer Kelley “K-K” Ringler.
The ladies of Pussy Galore concurred at the Stupid Bowl video showing, “He is awfully cute,” said Zanner, along with a nodding Houghton.
Surely to be a marked man, Galvan has managed to overcome his teetotaler reputation in the past, but it remains to be seen how this latest development will be digested by the competition.
“He may want to bring a batting helmet this year,” remarked headhunter Al Garcia. “I’m sure someone’s going to want to wipe that grin off his mug.”