FIFE LAKE, MI – Hall of Famer and Fatty regulars Hal “Pops” Ringler and Karen “Couch” Ringler were involved in a holiday traffic accident while on their way to a family wedding in Charlevoix over the Memorial Day weekend.

According to police, a pickup was heading southbound on U.S. 131 on Saturday and crashed into the car in front of them, which was awaiting traffic to clear before turning left. The careening vehicle sprung into the northbound lane, which was met by the Fatty-van.

“There was nothing that could’ve avoided the accident,” said the attending sherriff in attendance.

Pops suffered a few bruises, but Ma was ambulanced to Traverse City’s hospital for treatment of a broken rib before being released.

“It was a huge scare for everyone,” said Rings after picking them up at the Hospital, “but fortunately, everyone was wearing a seatbelt and no one was truly hurt.”

Both are expected to be back in form by the time August rolls around.

“If I had that car and he had a feather up his ***, we’d both be tickled.”

- Hal “Pops” Ringler, admiring another car collector’s classic ride.

CHICAGO – Five-year Fatty veteran Steve “Cougar” Peavler will be participating in the Go Vertical Challenge this year. From Cougar:

“Help me take the Go Vertical Challenge!

On Sunday, November 11th, I will participate in Go Vertical Chicago, the 6th annual climb up the Sears Tower to benefit the Damon Runyon Cancer Research Foundation. This is the longest indoor stair climb in the world. Participants start in the lobby of the Sears Tower and climb 103 stories to its famous Skydeck.

You may already know that last year my mother was diagnosed with stage 1 cancer. Through a successful surgical procedure and treatment, thank God she is now cancer free. I would like to dedicate this climb to her. My goal is to raise $1000. Please consider making a donation to this very worthwhile cause.

The Damon Runyon Cancer Research Foundation is reaching new heights in the fight against cancer-1,353 feet, in fact.

THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO DONATE and sponsor my climb:

1. – Go to the Go Vertical website at http://www.goverticalchicago.org/
  – Hit “Register Now” and look up my name (Steve Peavler) under “individual runner”
  – process a donation directly by clicking on the “Go Donate” button
2. – Contact me in order to send a donation by check that I will submit.
  – Make checks out to: DAMON RUNYAN CANCER RESEARCH FOUNDATION
  – I will get a receipt from the foundation for all donations.

100% of every donation goes directly to cancer research.

The Damon Runyon Cancer Research Foundation is a non profit organization with 501(c)(3) status.

I hope my legs don’t give out… Thanks for your support!

-Steve Peavler”

As Ringler’s Mom is also a ten-year cancer survivor, the Fatties are making a $100.00 donation to Peavler’s effort. We hope that you might also consider helping out.
Best of luck, Steve!

STEGER, IL – Three-time Most Valuable Player and Hall of Famer Jimmy “Chitwood” Galvan managed to avoid a crisis this week as well. He reported to the front offices this week that he was in danger of missing his first Fatty since 2001.
“I was enjoying my morning doughnut on Saturday and preparing to take my G.E.D. exam,” explained a disappointed Galvan, “when I get a message that the exam proctor had overslept and they cancelled my test. It looks like the makeup date may be August 4th, in which case, I cannot miss this and will, unfortunately, be unable to make the Fatty.”
This would be harsh news for his top ranked squad and throw the doors open to all challengers for this year’s Championship.
Good news followed a day later, however.
“They called me back and said the test will be in September sometime,” said Chitwood. “I’ll make it.”
Ringler’s Mom and the rest of the female Fatty fans have expressed their relief.

HARVARD – The Fatties are now in the process of interviewing our new catering service for this years events, as things are just plain getting bigger every year.
“It’s been enjoyable partaking in the preparations every year,” commented Beverly “First Class” Fisher, “but it’s a lot of work.”
“I’ve never seen a table full of food disappear so fast,” echoed Karen “Kiss the Cook” Ringler.
The burden has fallen on the ladies of Harvard for the past several years, under direction of Kelley-Kelley and they’ve been joined this past year by Jan “Ma” Byrne, who’s assisted them in working up a thirst.
The Front Office has indicated that research and experimentation is under way and will continue during this year’s European reconnaissance. Officials indicate that they hope to have the selections made by mid-July to ensure a smooth transition. All indications are that the previous staff will remain to supplement the efforts of any outside vendors.

Ebony and Ivory Claims Championship; Discharge Repeats to Win Baxter Bowl
HARVARD YARDS – the 2004 Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Extravaganza, the fifth annual display of athletic ineptitude, is in the books, presented before 200 wiffle fans at Harvard Yards, near Grand Rapids, Michigan on August 14th.
We’ve seen the Good, the Fat and the Ugly…and a finals game without a Galvan. Chicago’s Ebony and Ivory, consisting of 2004 MVP Lonnie “The Professor” Rucker and Dave “Psycho” Kale, power-pitched and power-hit their way to the title, finishing under the lights and besting Michigan’s The Motherload brother team of Patrick and Kevin Hillary by a score of 3-0 on the strength of a fourth inning tater by the Professor.
Full details of the 2004 Fatty will soon be posted as the Committee sorts through the result to compile our final rankings.
Special thanks goes out to our sponsors: Logan’s Alley and the Cambridge House in Grand Rapids, Captian Jack’s in Muskegon on the Pere Marquette Beach, Zain’s Party Store on M-57 in Harvard, The Winter Inn in Greenville.
Also a huge thank you to our volunteers: Karen “Kiss the Cook” Ringler, Beverly “First Class” Fisher, Hal “Pops” Ringler, Corbin “The Moop” Owens, Ron “Don’t Call Me” Francis, Tonia Miller “Time”, Marci “Three” Dickensheets “in the Wind”, Amy “Chris” Shelton, Jason “The Barrister” Schnelker, Scott “Bubba” Leuchtman, and Christina “Winky” Binkley.

The Fatty has been voted “best tournament” by many other wiffle organizations and is unlike any other. Since the 2003 event, the Fat Bastard has been featured in the Chicago Tribune, The Times Northeast (IN), The Grand Rapids Press, Fast Plastic Magazine (online) and ESPN The Magazine. On the air, we’ve been on The Score (670 AM Chicago), The Locker Room Show (640 AM Grand Rapids) and the nationally sindicated Bob & Tom.
In the past, Harvard Yards has welcomed competitors from seven states and two countries to the friendly grounds.
This year’s activities will benefit the Family Readiness Group, out of Grand Ledge, which supports 90 of our U.S. Troops currently stationed in Iraq, and their families, including our own SGT. Trey Sumner.

Galvan Stealing the Hearts of Harvard Yards?

STEGER, IL – Two time Fat Bastard MVP, Jimmy “Gay Lovin’” Galvan, or Chitwood, as those in Hickory know him, has apparently been stealing hearts in addition to victories over the 2002-3 seasons. Word began reaching the Commissioner’s office during a recent public showing of the 2003 Fat Bastard Highlight video, when Fatty matriarch Karen “Ilen-ee” Ringler remarked “how cute” Chitwood was at his every onscreen appearance. Each remark was quickly echoed by all females in attendance: “Oh, yes” from Barbie Jean Decker, and “He’s so sweet…I just love ‘im,” agreed Hall of Famer Kelley “K-K” Ringler.
The ladies of Pussy Galore concurred at the Stupid Bowl video showing, “He is awfully cute,” said Zanner, along with a nodding Houghton.
Surely to be a marked man, Galvan has managed to overcome his teetotaler reputation in the past, but it remains to be seen how this latest development will be digested by the competition.
“He may want to bring a batting helmet this year,” remarked headhunter Al Garcia. “I’m sure someone’s going to want to wipe that grin off his mug.”

Hal Keeps Pace; Prostate and Big Ray in the Bag by noon.
HARVARD – “ A big thanks to our scoring crew this year, Hal “Pops” Ringler, Joe “Prostate” Rogers, and “Big” Ray Kochenauer, who helped out to varying degrees of success in an attempt to keep a better scorebook for this year’s tournament. With a little luck, we might be able to figure out what they wrote by the holidays!