ROCKFORD – Hall of Famer Kelley “Trouble” Ringler has reportedly been working on a new look for the ladies’ squad this year, after sporting much color the past few seasons.

“This is more of my classic, Chess look,” said Trouble recently. “Of course, we’ll just have to wait until the Ice Cream Social to see the final  product.”

We can’t wait.

GRAND RAPIDS – The best looking team in wiffle ball has reportedly been out scouring the fashion world for their new uniforms. Our spies have been out as well. Click on the thumbnail for one of the latest proposals…they’re even on sale! And $6 for a three pack is a heckuva deal for the whole team!!

GRAND RAPIDS – Fisher Fund Vice President Kelley Ringler and Fat Bastard Tournament Director David Ringler were on hand at the Leukemia and Lympoma Society’s offices in Grand Rapids to present local director Juliet Johnson with a check for $3,000.00 from this year’s activities.
The donation was made in honor of Alexander Garcia and Makenze English, both of whom have been affected by Leukemia.

A huge thank you to everyone who participated in this year’s events and, especially, to our sponsors. Please support them all when you can and thank them for their assistance:

* Logan’s Alley in Grand Rapids
* Cambridge House in Grand Rapids
* J.D. Reardon’s in Grand Rapids
* Graydon’s Crossing in Grand Rapids
* Zain’s Party Store in Rockford
* Ringler, Byrne & Evans in Rockford & Grand Rapids
* Joe Turnes of BHT&D in Saranac
* Dave Sawinski of DJS Financial in Grand Rapids
* Print Rockford of Rockford
* Opportunity Concepts of Grand Rapids
* Mika, Meyers, Beckett & Jones of Grand Rapids
* Walker Tool & Die of Grand Rapids
* Lloyd’s Web Design & Graphics of Rangely, Maine
* Dave Grooters of Discovery Financial in Ada
* Sazerac Lounge of Grand Rapids
* Charlie’s Bar & Grille of Grand Rapids
* Henry A. Fox Distributing of Grand Rapids
* Scott & Amy Richards of Kewadin
* Grand Apppraisal Company of Grand Rapids
* Troy Kent of Kent Power in Kent City

GRAND RAPIDS – The Fatties hope that everyone else out there had a happy and safe St. Patrick’s Day, as the lads were out and about, adorned in their regimental kilts and the ladies were, well, see for yourself: lovely.
And there was nary a green beverage to be seen.
As this weekend traditionally kicks off the season, keep an eye on your inbox for your registration information and set aside some space on the calendar for several upcoming events: Opening Day, the 2007 Hall of Fame Nominees, Minnesota: “Part Two, Eh!,” The Mad Scramble on June 16th, and of course, the “world’s greatest wiffle tournament,” The Fat Bastard, scheduled for August 4th!

GREENVILLE – The Fisher Fund was pleased to present a check for $2,000.00 from our 2006 Fat Bastard Tournament to the Mike Utley Foundation to support their research for spinal cord injuries.
Mike, a former Detroit Lions player, was injured in a game in 1991, but became the inspiration behind the “Thumbs Up!” rallying cry that carried the team to the NFC Title Game and has continued to provide positive energy and encouragement to thousands who battle to overcome adversity.
In the past year, Utley has been named the Walter Camp Man of the Year and been awarded a grant from NFL Charities for his outstanding and tireless work.
Pictured here are Mike Utley, surrounded from left, by his wife Dani Utley and Fisher Fund Vice President Kelley Ringler and President Dave Ringler.
For more on the Mike Utley Foundation, visit their site here.

NORTH PARK – The big football game may have been a sloppy mess, but the Fatties celebrated in style as the ladies were looking good and making the game a bit more enjoyable.
The S.A.L. 258 and the Colonel, along with the lovely Mama Byrne, once again played host to the Stupid Bowl and nearly 200 revelers who enjoyed the game, 30 yards of food, 500 jello shots (1/3 of which went to the Senator and OB) and perhaps a refreshing beverage or two.
The Windy City lads were certainly less than happy with the outcome, but at least it was an interesting game – from what we can remember – until the mid-4th quarter.
Two revelers, once again, were winners of a large-screen TV and numerous squares were awarded…one of which was claimed by the Moop, who won despite being stationed in Iraq for the game. (We’ll be sure he gets his body weight in Rolling Rock when he gets back.)
On the bright side, with the end of football, its a sure sign that spring is not far behind. Many of us will be getting ready for the season with the Winter Fiasco tournament in two weeks on February 17th, leading up to opening day…and the enevitable buildup to Fat Bastard VIII, scheduled for August 4th.

BLAND RAPIDS – EZ-E and the S.A.L. Post 258 put on a fund-raising Texas Hold ‘Em tournament to benefit the “Le B.S.” this past weekend at the Sazerac Lounge. 44 card sharks, including 12 of your friendly, neighborhood Fatties (who either played or helped organize) participated for the chance to claim boatloads of fabulous cash and prizes.
Some guy named Jim won the main event, but the final table, pictured here, included the lovely and the talented Kelley-Kelley! She was not only the final female in the running, but the final Fatty as well…and she managed to dress up the table a bit before bowing out when her pocket pair was bested by a flush-draw on the river card.
Thanks to all who participated – especially The Colonel and Red for their help – and congratulations to the final table participants!
(Click on the photo to open a little slide show of the final table.)

PNC PARK – Wiffle tabloids and their paparazzi claim to have confirmed rumors of a possible third party in the family camp as Kelley-Kelley and Pittsburgh Pirate legend Manny Sanguillen are now confirmed dating.
Photographers managed to capture an image of the only female member of the Fat Bastard Hall of Fame and the Panamanian baseball legend while he was taking a quick break from his current duties as a restauranteur.
Numerous attempt to contact Kelley-Kelley have gone unreturned as of this posting.
Local Steel-town Fatty, “Rocket” McCarthy, however, seemed to confirm the validity of the photos, when he stated, “Sheesh, after so many years of hangin’ out with Ringler, can you blame her?”
Keep an eye on this space for the latest developements as this story unfolds…

Fat Bastard Commish Cracks up the Short Bus on the Way Home from Indy

WARSAW, IN – The infamous “Short Bus” is no more after Dave “X” Ringler suffered an auto accident on the way home from a vintage base ball tournament this past weekend in Indiana.
“A guy ran a red light and crossed the intersection in front of me,” stated Rings, “and there was nothing I could do but hope the Short Bus would hold up.”
Thankfully, no humans suffered injuries as Rings was alone in his vehicle and the other car’s passengers escaped any injuries.
“The front end caved like a fat kid during two-a-days, but everyone walked away,” he continued.
The next task will be to fight with the other guy’s insurance carrier (Indiana is an at-fault state) with the help of our resident adjuster, Little Buddy. Then it’s off to look for a new Fatty-mobile.
“Well, the Short Bus was a good ride. I never lost it in a parking lot.”
Notably lost, however, was Sugar‘s slime marks in the back seat window, more than a few road-trip tales, and a special spot or two for K-K.

“I must say: you’re really f*cking beautiful. I’m not gay.
And I’d really like to sleep with you.”
- A young Englishman, approaching our own Kelley-Kelley at a pub in London within her first 60 seconds alone.