PNC PARK – Wiffle tabloids and their paparazzi claim to have confirmed rumors of a possible third party in the family camp as Kelley-Kelley and Pittsburgh Pirate legend Manny Sanguillen are now confirmed dating.
Photographers managed to capture an image of the only female member of the Fat Bastard Hall of Fame and the Panamanian baseball legend while he was taking a quick break from his current duties as a restauranteur.
Numerous attempt to contact Kelley-Kelley have gone unreturned as of this posting.
Local Steel-town Fatty, “Rocket” McCarthy, however, seemed to confirm the validity of the photos, when he stated, “Sheesh, after so many years of hangin’ out with Ringler, can you blame her?”
Keep an eye on this space for the latest developements as this story unfolds…

PITTSBURGH, PA – A parade of celebrants filled downtown Pittsburgh today, estimated by local officials at around 250,000 people, to pay tribute to our own Fat Bastard – growing wiffle legend, Sean “Rocket” McCarthy.
The spontaneous event unfolded beginning late yesterday afternoon as McCarthy and his new bride made their way through downtown on harmless shopping jaunt in to commemorate the local football team’s recent success. As a murmer began working its way through fellow shoppers of the celebrity in their midst, a crowd began to form..
“They started following me around as we were browsing the local shops,” explained the Rocket. “Although, I probably should not have fanned the flames by flashing my 2005 Fatty T-Shirt.”
Local officials agreed that this glimpse of the limited edition sportwear was probably the spark, amid the flashing bulbs of the cameras, that ignited the fan frenzy in downtown.
“My wife now understands what an important event the Fat Bastard is in the lives of ordinary people,” continued McCarthy.
The local hero was able to satisfy the throngs by soliciting a police bullhorn and giving a short address to the crowd, who, exhausted from the cheers and the long wait, peacefully dispersed over the next couple of hours.
“It was quite a day. It just shows that I’ll have to be a bit more cautious in the future when I head out in public, especially if we were able to win the Fatty this next year.”