“I have not explored my gayness.”

- Moop, celebrating his 1st anniversary today. Congrats!

GUN LAKE – For those who are not aware, congratulations to the Moop & Zanner on their upcoming nuptials. It’ll be a Labor Day of love…

Hit ‘em up HERE.

As today is the nation’s actual Memorial Day, let us take a moment to remember and give thanks to those who have served.
Thank you to all veterans!

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In a related note, many of you are aware that our own Trey “The Bookie” Sumner will be shipping back to Iraq later this summer for his third tour. He relates the following story:

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I couldn’t be prouder of this……

A couple weeks ago my youngest son had his end-of-the-school-year singing thing that they do – they opened with the singing of the National Anthem. You’ll be able to pick him out from these two pictures (click thumbnails for larger images). When he did that, through the entire song, at first my jaw dropped…and I’d be lying if I said that my eyes were completely dry. When I asked him “why?” afterwards, he didn’t have much to say except that he just wanted to.

For a 7 year old, who is struggling hard with the fact that his Dad is going back to Iraq in a couple months (when I return from this tour I will have spent a bit over a third of his life in Iraq), to show that kind of respect for soldiers through mimicry is astounding. Even the tremendous amount of disappointment he’s experienced, in the time I’ve had to be away from home, hasn’t destroyed his pride and respect for his Dad and his country.

Only a soldier’s son…..

GRAND RAPIDS – A huge congratulations to long time Fatties Susan “Zanner” Sheppard and Corbin “Moop” Owens, who became engaged last week!

While no details have been set, this will mark the first Fatty nuptials as well as the first members of the  Hall of Fame to tie the knot.
…well, unless you count EZ and Rings‘ longtime romance.

GRAND RAPIDS – Please join us in passing along birthday greetings to the world’s most famous Moop, Hall of Famer and U.S. Marine Sargeant T. Corbin Owens, who is celebrating another year today.

We’d like to buy you your favorite beverage to help celebrate, but we figured you’d enjoy another photo of yourself instead.

All the best, Moopsie!

Only three more weeks to go….

Agenda for the first 2008 Committee Meeting, chaired by EZ:

Our first Bar Committee Meeting will be held at Logan’s Alley this weekend.

We will need a recording secretary to keep the minutes. I nominate you. Bitch.

Agenda:

1) Beers.
    A) Order a second round of beers.
2) Bad mouth Ringler
   A) A lot
3) More Beers
   A) Discuss the possibility of shots
4) Talk about some bar or something.
   A) It has something to do with wiffleball
5) Yes, honey I will be home soon
   A) Man, she calls a lot
6) What shall we serve at the Fat Bastard?
   A) I’m thinking Boone’s Farm.
7) Ok, one last beer
   A) and some wings.
8 ) Get Jose to finance it, that guy never pays his fines.
   A) Ok, we’ll just take up a collection.
   B) let’s get expensive brand empty bottles and put cheap liquor in it, no one has ever thought of that before.
9) Unusual drinking vessels
   A) You know that gas can wasn’t a bad idea 
   B) what about a Gilligan’s Island native head hunter bowl?
   C) I know, we’ll drink out of a bra.
   D) Good idea, Moop
10) Meeting adjouned.

There, now, who’s up for a song about fighting and drinking then?

The following is from crack free lance reporter, Trey “The Bookie” Sumner:

GRAND RAPIDS – Legendary wiffler and hall-of-famer, Jeff “O.B.” O’Bryan was detained for questioning by the Kent County Police over the weekend after his home was raided late Friday night. Police claim Little Buddy’s residence has been under surveillance for weeks and that he is considered to be a major player in a quickly growing ring of underground “kitten fighting clubs.”

Details are sketchy at this time and police are not releasing any information until all the facts are in. Fellow Fatties Moop, Trey and EZ were on the scene when the raid occured but were quickly released when they explained that they had only stopped by a few minutes earlier to invite O.B. to join them for a prayer breakfast and to read Bible stories to the blind children at the orphanage, and that the only reason they had betting slips in their pockets was because they took them to keep other people from betting.

“If stealing these saves even one kitten then go ahead and label me a thief!” proclaimed a teary eyed Moop.

Witnesses also stated that Trey and EZ were genuinely confused and had to have the police explain to them what “gambling” was multiple times before they even understood what they were being questioned about.

We will keep you updated as details are released.

TOLEDO – This website avoids politicals, but this is disgraceful:

http://www.nbc24.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=94192

The 1/24th A-Co. is the Moop’s unit. 
They served 9 months in Djibouti and nearly a year in Iraq, performing one of the toughest possible missions as FOP’s in Fallujah, long before things settled down. They lost 5 comrades during their tour. Here is a memorial to the lives lost:

http://www.alphaheroes.org/

These guys are reserves, who served their country honorably while active and, when home, must take weekends off once a month – away from their families and jobs – to do this training and, hopefully, prevent future casualties. When there are disasters in this country or call ups to another part of the globe, these are the guys who answer the call.

This mayor is disgusting and an embarrassment.

The Fatties hereby urge their friends to avoid Toledo or spending any money in their city so long as this mayor holds office: regardless of your politics, support the troops.

EDIT: Apparently, local Toledo TV station WTOL agrees, in what might be one of the best editorials ever to air:  click HERE.

GRAND RAPIDS – Our own imfamous “man on the mic,” The Moop, will serve as game announcer for this year’s annual Marines vs. GRPD/GRFD Basketball Matchup to benefit Toys for Tots.
Goodness knows what that guy will say, but the festivities begin a 7:00 p.m. on Wednesday, November 28th, at the Delta Plex in northeast Grand Rapids.
Admission is an unwrapped toy. Ummm…preferrably one intended for kids.
Any bets on whether The Moop manages to cause a murmur or two of his own?

GRAND RAPIDS – Corbin “The Moop” Owens has reportedly taken up debauchery as his hobby.
He’s been sighted recently about town with all the pretty colors on and blinking like a holiday wreath, sustaining himself with finger-stick campfire and a purely liquid diet.
“Yeah, I was a little bored with all this ‘civilization’ back in the U.S.,” stated Owens recently, upon his return from duty “somewhere” in Iraq. “I haven’t been shot at in months, so I thought it might be fun to spice things up a bit…you know, take a break from the ordinary.”
Registered mixologist, Trey “The Bookie” Sumner, played host to The Moop recently, stating, “Yeah, he was here for a little while, but cranked up a bar tab and wandered off into the night, leaving me with a measly $1 tip.”
Spokespersons for The Moop admitted that the veteran had been engaged in several social events recently, but added that, for most Fatties, The Moop was still well below most annual par averages, adding, “Its nothing that an evening or two with the War Pigs won’t fix.”