MILWAUKEE – For those of you of legal drinking age, help out the Fatties and vote us a “5″ in the Gusto Gallery with Schlitz beer. Check it out here:

SCHLITZ

HARVARD – Just a quick note to all the Fatties, far and wide, who once again decended upon Harvard Yards to make this year’s Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Tournament one of our most memorable:

The fields are still a MESS!

We’re going to see Katie at Romence Gardens and we’ll get to work on prepping for the next round of chaos. In the meantime, keep an eye out on this site for the updated scouting reports – with final standings - and tournament summary.
The tourney slideshow HERE is being regularly updated as photos reach our offices. If you have any photos, please send ‘em to us HERE.

In the meantime, we’re takin’ a break…

FT. HOOD, TX – Fatty Hall of Famer Trey “The Bookie” Sumner is off again on a government-sponsored tour of the Middle East, which means – unfortunately – that we’ll be seeing the second version of the “Fatty Iraq.” For a recap of the last tour, click HERE. For the Scouting Reports, with results, click HERE.

Trey sent us a quick update from the preparations:

I am flying out to Ft Hood, TX today where we will finalize our preparations for our tour. Most importantly, I have packed sufficient equipment (assuming no one breaks a bat) for “spring training” for Fat Bastard Iraq II.
This time we are linking up with a unit out of New Hampshire – which means they should be much smarter than the unit from Mississippi last time. Although, I’m pretty sure calling out “Buuuckneeeeeerrrrrr” is going to be overplayed inside of a week. SGT Nick “The Other” White “Meat” (a returning veteran from the first Iraq Fatty) got us shirts that say:

Patriots go 16-0 regular season – invaluable
Patriots don’t win the Superbowl – priceless

Should be interesting. Updates to follow……

“Four hours at the bar is all about decision-making.”
- Larry “Legend” Zeiser

MINNEAPOLIS, MN  – The Fatties are on a roll, as a solid crew of Alan “The Kid” Garcia, Dave “Rings” Ringler and Jason “J-Mac” McInerney will hit the road to meet up with Dave “Minny Me” Ringler and Pat “Truck” Moriarity to take on the field in the HRL Twin Cities fifth annual Wifflin’ for Wishes in Hopkins, Minnesota this weekend. According to officials in Minnesota, the ever-growing tourney is expecting around 50 squads to participate. Proceeds exceeding expenses will benefit The Make a Wish Foundation of Minnesota.

Josh “Ten” Carroll is expected to provide the Mickey’s Wide Mouth, although he’s long since informed us that he’s only capable of drinking nine in a sitting.

A report will be posted soon with results.

The following is a Shout Out by Jamie “Old School” Hernandez:

Oh what a glorious weekend it be
As we drank beer and then had to pee
Standing and playing in the rain
It was hard to tell who was in pain
By midday everyone wore grins
because the sun was brought to us by Pimms
With B-Tram’s Golden Arm and Breen’s Big Stick
Zanner’s Home Run off of Chitwood was sick
the wiffle memories again were a blast
as another Fatty weekend has come and passed
A hearty thanks to the wonderful hosts
as we look forward to nest years toasts

-J

If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.

The following is a shout out by Rings

HARVARD – Dang-nabbit! 

After four days, the batters boxes and mound on Harvard Red are still holding water and I’ve had my Schlitz shirt soaking since the tourney wrapped up. Somebody dial up Martha Stewart!

Now I’ve washed, used the Billy Mays Oxi-Clean, Spray ‘n Wash and anything else I can think of, but I still can’t get out that stubborn “ring around the collar”…yes, I’ve even Wisked it to no avail.

In the words of Frank Hovice, its time to set fire to the bed and leave. Check out Schlitz HERE to get geared up for the next Fatty.

MAUSTON, WI – Our friends from the HRL Twin Cities were forced to endure an unexpected purgatory on their way to the Fatty this past Friday, as they blew a sepentine belt and were forced to seek refuge at Sal’s A+ Service station in Mauston LINK.
Fortunately, Sal was accommodating as the lads were able to keep themselves refreshed during their unfortunate layover.

Sal’s is all about safety.

Fortunately, their sojurn home was less eventful, save a jump start from Harvard Yards to get things rolling.

HARVARD – Congratulations to Ryan “Where You” Breen & Ben “Spicoli” Taylor, as Prairie Doggin’ Corn Poo claimed their first Fat Bastard Championship, defeating Cannonball Comin’ in the finals of a wet and muddy Fatty extravaganza.

Second year team, The Shirtless Poopers bested Drink Beer. O.J. Will Kill You in the finals of the Baxter Bowl tournament.

Ryan Breen was named Most Valuable Player and awarded the Big Stick, in honor of another home run title. Scott “B-Tram” Leuchtmann was named the Golden Arm Award as best pitcher of the day, for his outstanding performance. Joe “Jose” Turnes was given the Good Hands Award as the finest defensive player. Best Team name was “The Dutch Rudders.”

Great job to all teams in getting through a soaked weekend. More results to come shortly…

LINK