Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Tournament VI:
The Joy of Sechs
The Legend Lives On…
Pabst Smears, Six Packs, Jager Bombs and a new Champion
The 2005 Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Tournament once again managed to get through the day without any major international incedents, but August 13th, 2005 shall live on in Harvard Yards infamy. This year’s bad athlete extravaganza will once again welcomed 24 teams to the pursuit of plastic glory…and maybe just a bit of chicanery.
Fine efforts were also turned in by Def Leprechaun, who were the top ranked team entering play, but feel just short of the title, Don’t the French Have Subways Too?, whose military training must include magic pixie dust as they found a way to win ugly most of the day, and the Pabst Smears, who were named Best Team Name, & “Drunk Guy” along with “Rookies of the Year” for their efforts. Boys Named Sue also returned to form as Dave “F’n” Ringler claimed the Good Hands and Big Stick Awards as well as the Home Run Title and Cmoniwannalaya, looking better than ever, toughed their way through injury and insobriety to maintain their place in the rankings.
The Baxter Bowl was filled with sandbaggers again, as Ron Francis and Scott Graves “somehow” managed to triumph again over the Mormon Bash Brothers to claim another piece of hardware.
Be sure to check out the SCOUTING REPORTS for full details on each teams’ performance.
The Fisher Fund, Inc and Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball is also pleased to announce the 2005 Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Tournament benefit The Bridge at Arbor Circle of Grand Rapids, which works with disadvantaged and substance abuse youths in the area. A donation has also been made to the Rockford YMCA building fund.
Here’s how the scoreboard stacked up:
Opening Round
Roscoe P. Coltrane 9 – Women Are From Mars, We’re From Uranus 2
Rumpleforeskin 22 – George Kennedy’s Snowshoes 4
From Russia With Love 29 – Jimmy’s Hat 23
Boys Named Sue 8 – Bubba’s Playmates 4
Obviously, You’re Not a Golfer 8 – The Cleveland Steamers 0
Dazed and Confused 8 – Gacy at the Bat 3
Def Leprechaun 12 – The Underhill Tab 8
Goin’ Deep with the Paralyzer 16 – Cmoniwannalaya 7
Two Jerks & A Squirt 9 – Mail Order Brides 7
80 Foot Dongs 14 – Plastic Men 13
Clinton Principles 9 – Pabst Smears 5
Don’t The French Have Subway Too? 17 – Bash Brothers 16
Winner’s Bracket:
Roscoe P. Coltrane 12 – Rumpleforeskin 6
Boys Named Sue 24 – From Russia w/Love 12
Obviously/Golfer 6 – Dazed & Confused 3
Def Leprechaun 18 – Goin’ Deep 2
80 Foot Dongs 3 – Two Jerks & A Squirt 1
French Subways 24 – Clinton Principles 3
Roscoe P. Coltrane 4 – Boys Named Sue 1
Def Leprechaun 7 – Obviously/Golfer 1
French Subways – 80 Foot Dongs
Def Leprechaun 13 – French Subways 0
Roscoe P. Coltrane 5 – Def Leprechaun 0
Second Chance Bracket
Mars/Venus 9 – George Kennedy 1
Bubba’s Playmates 19 – Jimmy’s Hat 11
Cleveland Steamers 12 – Gacy at the Bat 11
Cmoniwannalaya 5 – The Underhill Tab 4
Plastic Men 8 – Mail Order Brides 5
Pabst Smears 14 – Bash Brothers 12
Mars/Venus 7 – Dazed & Confused 4
Bubba’s Playmates 9 – Goin’ Deep 8
Two Jerks & A Squirt 6 – Cleveland Steamers 4
Clinton Principles 20 – Cmoniwannalaya 10
Plastic Men 27 – Rumpleforeskin 16
Pabst Smears 6 – From Russia w/Love 0
Mars/Venus 9 – Bubba’s Playmates 1
Two Jerks & A Squirt 11 – Clinton Principles 10
Plastic Men 16 – Pabst Smears 5
80 Foot Dongs 3 – Mars/Venus 2
Boys Named Sue 9 – Two Jerks & A Squirt 2
Obviously/Golfer 7 – Plastic Men 0
80 Foot Dongs 8 – French Subways 3
Boys Named Sue 11 – Obviously/Golfer 2
80 Foot Dongs 5 – Boys Named Sue 1
80 Foot Dongs 6 – Def Leprechauns 4
Baxter Bowl Tournament
Gacy at the Bat 12 – George Kennedy’s Snowshoes 5
Bash Brothers 26 – Jimmy’s Hat 0
Mail Order Brides 13 – The Underhill Tab 0
Bash Brothers 14 – Gacy at the Bat 6
Mail Order Brides 6 – Bash Brothers 5
Championship
Roscoe P. Coltrane 8 – 80 Foot Dongs 7
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