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Iraq & Roll
The Balls of St. Mary’s Claims the one and (hopefully)
only Fat Bastard Iraq National Title

Sergeant Sumner and the Boys Duke it Out for the Inaugural Fatty “Somewhere in Iraq”

IRAQ – At the risk of risking a certain court-martial, a few of our service members have joined forces to spread our brand of debauchery to their own little corner of the globe as our own little Fat Bastard, Trey “The Bookie” Sumner (at right with Nick White: we won’t ask, if you won’t tell…), leads the debut of the Fat Bastard IRAQ, following months of preparation, from Georgia to Kuwait, and one dog deportation.

A few special rules have been thrown in to assist in the translation of our “National Pastime (of Harvard Yards)”:

1. 15 run mercy rule at the end of the 3rd inning.

2. Each player on the team must pitch a minimum of 2 innings.

3. If you play The Other Team (Reeves/Keller), it is not an automatic forfiet. You have to strike out 3 “ghost” batters before walking in a run to win. If you walk in a run, you lose. You must switch pitchers with each new batter. As a team, you must decide to either start with a 1-1 count and runners on first and second, or 0-0 count and no runners on. Sumner – despite his eternal challenge in coming up with a decent team name – is holding the book on the first team to lose to these fine dead Americans.

The bracket has been drawn and games are in the books:

SCORES:
First Round:
(6) Brad & Janet 34 – (3) Blind Monkeys Can’t See in the Sun 32 (6 inn.)
(2) The Balls of St. Mary’s 40 – (4) Slimy, Sleazy, Cheap & Easy 15 (4 inn.)
(1) Cream & Clear 20 – (5) Mississippi Yankees 15
(8) Dead Money defeats (7) The Other Team

Loser’s Bracket
Slimy, Sleazy, Cheap & Easy 18 – Blind Monkeys Can’t See in the Sun 12.
Mississippi Yankees defeats The Other Team
Blind Monkeys and The Other Team are eliminated

Mississippi Yankees 15 – Slimy, Sleazy, Cheap & Easy 11
Brad & Janet 16 – Dead Money 1
Slimy, Sleazy, Cheap & Easy eliminated
Dead Money eliminated

Mississippi Yankees 15 – Brad & Janet 7

Mississippi Yankees 16 – Cream & Clear 1

Winner’s Bracket
The Balls of St. Mary’s 32 – Brad & Janet 9.
Cream & Clear 17 – Dead Money 2

The Balls of St. Mary’s 17 – Cream & Clear 8

Fat Bastard Iraq National Championship
The Balls of St. Mary’s 14 – Mississippi Yankees 9

The Balls of St. Mary’s claims the one – and hopefully only – Fat Bastard Iraq Championship. As a reward, they get their asses shipped back stateside. An awards ceremony will be held at the 2005 Fatty.