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WORLD CHAMPIONS
HALL OF FAME

The Story of the Fat Bastards

The Fat Bastard Wiffle® Ball Tournament was borne of another, even worse, bad idea, but the story really begins with Beaver Research, now BRI Fund, Inc.

It’s principals had played together with various lineups as a group of Bad Athletes since the early nineties. Originally, Beaver Research supported our needs for comradery and a night of sport in Grand Rapids, Michigan. The organization is now a non-profit entity, BRI Fund Inc., which host several events throughout the year to raise money for various worthy causes.

The original Beavers, founded in 1992 by Eric Albertson and Doug Chambers, were a softball team and proud holders of the “Pitcher Title” at the Scoreboard Lounge for several years running, having set a pseudo-city record for alcohol abuse in 1993 by averaging 24.8 draft beer pitchers per night over the course of a season.

One night of sport was not enough, however, and in 1996 Alberston and Andy Mitchell founded another softball team, the War Pigs. The Pigs were favorites at several north-end establishments (including one infamous year of country kareoke hosted by “Mesh Shirt Chain Wallet”), but eventually joined their brethren at the Scoreboard Lounge and finally became simply the War Pigs, as the old farts have decayed to one night “away,” now hosted by Sazerac Lounge .

Other teams followed, including an ice hockey team, the Skating Slugs, founded in 1997 by Mitchell, and a Flag Football squad, Roe v. Wade, in 1998, also by Albertson and Mitchell.

Several golf outings started to work their way into the schedule as well. BRI’s activities expanded into social events also including the ever-growing Stupid Bowl, begun by Scott Byrne in 1993, which now hosts over 200 revelers to celebrate the country’s true national holiday, Super Bowl Sunday, which raises thousands of dollars for the American Legion Furniture City Post and Sons of the American Legion Post 258.

By 1999, we needed an event or function to mark the end of our softball seasons. Several Bad Athlete Conventions had already been held to mark the success or failures of our growing association of under-talented sports teams, but we needed something else as well. Nearly everyone has played some form of wiffle® ball, yard ball, stick ball, homerun derby or modified baseball as kids, and our group of Bad Athletes was not any different. Unfortunately, our original idea was not to revive our youth with a game of wiffle®…

Instead a bunch of the boys created the first (and only) Bad Beer World Series, founded by Byrne and Dave Ringler. This was decidedly a horrible idea, but was carried out regardless. Mere mention today around the women-folk is generally cause for heated discussion. The game involved nine separate houses or watering holes (innings) each hosting one of 9 different “bad” beers – “ the kind without commercials.” The roster included Old Style®, Red White and Blue®, Strohs®, Pabst®, Blatz®, Schlitz®, Meisterbrau®, Olympia® and Carlings Black Label®. We had a rented moving van – the kind without windows – and, of course, two designated drivers (NEVER drink and drive!). Teams of two were formed and each team was responsible to consume 4 of each brand at each stop. Each set of empties entitled a team to draw a scoring envelope, which held a total of 1, 2, 3 or 4 “runs”. At the end of 9 innings, the team with the most “runs” would be delcared winner. Suffice it to say, the crew was well on their way to “extra innings” by the 7th stop and the event was quickly banned in all American territories save Rhode Island and the protectorate of Guam.

The following year, the Fat Bastard was born.

Organized by Ringler and initially held at a local school yard, the event quickly outgrew it’s confines. The purchase of Harvard Yards was consumated in November of 2001 and the tournament continues to expand.

The event is now organized under the Fisher Fund, a non-profit charitable organization, and set a record in 2002 by raising nearly $1700.00 for Visiting Nurses / Hospice of Michigan through several events. The 2003 target charity was the American Cancer Society. In 2004, we supported The Family Readiness Group, of Grand Ledge, which assisted our U.S. Troops stationed in Iraq and their families with a donation of over $2000.00. In 2005, we supported The Bridge at Arbor Circle of Grand Rapids, outfitting their game room, and the Rockford YMCA Wolverine Branch building fund. 2006 saw a contribution to the Mike Utley Foundation for spinal cord injury research and West Michigan SMA, in support of a local girl, Malorie Fox, afflicted with the disease. For 2007, we dedicated our efforts to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in honor of Alexander Garcia and Makenze English. This year, we donated to Paws with a Cause and Josh Hoffman, a U.S. Marine injured in Iraq. To date, we have donated nearly $15,000.00 to various causes.

Fat Bastard events include the Wiffle® Ball Tournament (first or second weekend in August), the Winter Fiasco indoor tournament (mid-late February), the Kitt F. Fisher Memorial Mad Scramble Golf Outing (early-mid June), and the Chow Down Challenge (late winter eating contest), as well as support of the Michigan Wiffle Alliance and other events.