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Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Tournament VII:
Who was able to…
Roll the Dice, Get Lucky!
Walkoff Homers and a Belly Full of Cheer

There are 24 hours in a day. There are 24 beverages in a case. There were 24 teams at Harvard. Kind of a happy coindedence, isn’t it? The Fatties took to the sun drenched fields of play at Harvard Yards this year and a new champion was crowned. The Screamin’ Seaman defeated Ozzie Guillen for the Hall of Fame twice to claim the 2006 Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Championship.

The brother duo of Brian and Jason Braat were able to stun Harvard legend, Jimmy “Chitwood” Galvan, and his crew with a late game homer, as Jason hammered his way to a Home Run Title, and duo rolled on to a tournament victory.

The Baxter Bowl was held without Ron Francis for the first time in four years, as the MetroSexuals defeated Oh, That Wacky Ringler in their final game, aided by the latter’s inability to catch a fly ball, and claimed their prize.

Several outstanding performances were turned in on the day, none better than Most Valuable Player, Pat “Truck” Moriarity, who cruised in from Minneapolis and left a hero when he was forced to play two games solo following a knee injury to teammate “Dee” Snyder. He added to the hardward collection with the Big Stick Award as the day’s best hitter and when his squad, Touched by an Uncle was awarded Best Team Name in a vote of his peers.

Rob “The Senator” Byrne claimed his second Best Hands Award as the day’s finest defensive player and Sean “Rocket” McCarthy twirled his way to the Golden Arm Award.
Very importantly, the Fattie-festivities allowed us to make donations to two worthy causes this year:The Mike Utley Foundation which supports research for spinal cord injuries and the Michigan chapter of Families with Spinal Muscular Atrophy in honor of Malorie Fox, a local little girl.

A special thanks goes out to our sponsors this year: Logan’s Alley, Cambridge House, J.D. Reardons, Graydon’s Crossing, Captain Jack’s and Zain’s Party Store. Please check them out and support them when you can.

In addition, thank you to our volunteers:Hal “Pops” Ringler, Beverly “First Class” Fisher, Mark Jurges, Karen Ringler, Trey Sumner, Eric Albertson, Susan Sheppard and Scott Byrne. There were many others on the cleanup crew…thanks to all as we could not do it without you!
In addition, there were more than a few ballgames contested on the pitch of Harvard. When it was all said and done, here’s how the scoreboard stacked up:

Opening Round Games
Blatz All Get Schlitzed 3 – Eaton Beavers 2
Ozzie Guillen for the Hall of Fame 7 – Queen Latifah’s Bicycle Seat 3
Mr. Randy Watson 20 – Dirty Sanchez 4
Whatever You Want to Call Us 8 – Duenglings 5
Acute Angina 21 – One Bat Two Balls 11
Crooked Crack 18 – Twisted Sisterz 7
Date Night in Chappaquiddick 8 – Oh, That Wacky Ringler 6
Touched by an Uncle 3 – Consider the Llama 2
Screamin’ Seamen 17 – That’s Not My Finger Either 5
It Rubs the Lotion on its Skin 2 – We Have the Runs 0
Bobby Higginson’s Revenge 16 – Big Nuts Run Slow 8
Normastits 21 – MetroSexuals 17

Winner’s Bracket Games
Ozzie Guillen for the Hall of Fame 6 – Blatz All Get Schlitzed 4
Mr. Randy Watson 10 – Whatever You Want to Call Us 7
Acute Angina 18 – Crooked Crack 8
Touched by an Uncle 4 – Date Night in Chappaquiddick 2
It Rubs the Lotion on its Skin 9 – Screamin’ Seamen 5
Bobby Higginson’s Revenge 15 – Normastits 0
Ozzie Guillen for the Hall of Fame 3 – Mr. Randy Watson 0
Touched by an Uncle 20 – Acute Angina 7
Bobby Higginson’s Revenge 9 – It Rubs the Lotion on its Skin 5
Bobby Higginson’s Revenge 20 – Touched by an Uncle 0
Ozzie Guillen for the Hall of Fame 6 – Bobby Higginson’s Revenge 3

Second Chance Bracket
Eaton Beavers 21 – Queen Latifah’s Bicycle Seat 0
Duenglings 10 – Dirty Sanchez 1
One Bat Two Balls 11 – Twisted Sisterz 4
Consider the Llama 9 – Oh, That Wacky Ringler 7
That’s Not My Finger Either 22 – We Have the Runs 0
Big Nuts Run Slow 16 – MetroSexuals 11
Crooked Crack 10 – Eaton Beavers 7
Duenglings 6 – Date Night in Chappaquiddick 1
Screamin’ Seamen 25 – One Bat Two Balls 9
Consider the Llama 8 – Normastits 6
That’s Not My Finger Either 9 – Blatz All Get Schlitzed 4
Big Nuts Run Slow 25 – Whatever You Want to Call Us 10
Crooked Crack 10 -Duenglings 8
Screamin’ Seamen 15 – Consider the Llama 5
Big Nuts Run Slow 19 – That’s Not My Finger Either 18
It Rubs the Lotion on its Skin 8 – Crooked Crack 3
Screamin’ Seamen 10 – Mr. Randy Watson 3
Acute Angina 10 – Big Nuts Run Slow 8
Touched by an Uncle 9 – It Rubs the Lotion on its Skin 8
Screamin’ Seamen 18 – Acute Angina 7
Screamin’ Seamen 13 – Touched by an Uncle 3
Screamin’ Seamen 17 – Bobby Higginson’s Revenge 5

Championship Rounds
Baxter Bowl
Twisted Sisters 16 – Queen Latifah’s Bicycle Seat 1
MetroSexuals 22 – Dirty Sanchez 8
Oh, That Wacky Ringler 7 – We Have the Runs 1
MetroSexuals 17 – Twisted Sisters 0
MetroSexuals 7 – Oh, That Wacky Ringler 5
Championship
Screamin’ Seamen 8 – Ozzie Guillen for the Hall of Fame 7
Screamin’ Seamen 9 – Ozzie Guillen for the Hall of Fame 2