Eric “EZ-E” Albertson
Runner-Up 2000, Fat Bastard Champ 2001, MVP 2001, Pitcher of the Year 2001.

The man has long had his own page on this site, so it was not a stretch to assume he would make an impression on the voters. Hell, he’ll probably make the Hall in a few other leagues as well. You know a player is a legend when people show up in out-of-state tournaments and ask Fat Bastard players, “Hey, where is EZ-E?” He was the highlight of this year’s highlight video, he’s a tough left-hander and has a flair for the dramatic at the plate (ask Justin Davis), he’s a former Tournament MVP, the cause of Pat Boone’s Heavy Metal album as Fatty theme music, the inspiration behind “A Very Vegas Easter”, author of his own biannual column, he’s pissed down his leg in relative public, and he proudly adorns Scott Mitchell’s #19 Lions jersey. He’s the first player to inspire another team’s name with At Least We’re Not EZ in 2001. This list could go on and on…the man owns at least several dozen nicknames: Arie, Menards, Cartman, Big Gay Eric, Mitchell…and now he can add one more: Hall of Famer.

Kelley “Kelley-Kelley” Ringler Committee 2000-2002, Director of Homeland Defense 2001-2002, Director of Catering 2002.

“Mama” is about the only bit of sanity in this entire operation and was the top vote-getter among the Veteran’s Committee voters, who are well aware of the considerable contribution made by Kelley over the year’s of the Fat Bastard tournament, not the least of which is putting up with her spouse. She was honored in 2002 to throw out the first pitch and has been instrumental in preparing all equipment and facilities for the tournament as well as helping to raise dollars for the Fat Bastards various charitable causes, including the Visiting Nurses and Hospice, Sons of the American Legion Post 258, and the American Cancer Society. There is even talk that Kelley-Kelley is ball-sy enough to take up the actual game, with rumors of her joining last year’s G.L.O.W. in 2003, which would make her the first rookie to be a reigning Hall of Famer. And, in the words of one voter, she merited enshrinement “’cause she’s pretty.”

Jeff “O.B.” O’Bryan Baxter Bowl Champ 2000. Baxter Bowl Champ 2001.

If ever there was someone who was everyone’s “Little Buddy,” this guy is it. O.B. is not only an annual fixture in the Baxter Bowl tournament, but also a regular contender for ‘Best Team Name’ along with his teammate, the Big ‘Un. In addition, O.B.’s regular worm dance is a delight for Fat Bastard fans young and old. He’s been known as Little Gibby, Little Debby and Little Buddy. In fact, no one even knew his real name until recently, when we added the nickname “Who‘s Jeff?”. O.B. is also credited with making the greatest defensive play of all time in the Baxter Bowl Championship in 2001, when he robbed Sugar of a triple with a diving catch against the fence in what turned out to be the difference in a one run game. This Hall of Famer is also the inspiration for any number of Fat Bastard road trip hijinks. In the words of EZ-E, “if you give him a nice beverage pace, he’ll provide you with hours of entertainment.”

Dave “X” Ringler Commissioner 2000-2003, Runner-Up 2000, Home Run Champ 2000, Fat Bastard Champ 2001.

Probably the only guy with more disparaging nicknames than EZ-E, F*ckin’ Ringler is a legend in his own mind. As the Fat Bastard founder, he’s been the Tournament Director since the beginning. Always a dangerous hitter, he’s gotten better at getting outs with a steady diet of junk pitching. He’s also the Fat Bastard most likely to travel, having participated in many road-trip tournaments over the past several years, and having been arrested in several countries (possible still facing extradition to Mexico following public sodomy charges stemming from a February 2002 incident). As a Hall of Famer, Ringler hopes to continue to spread the Fat Bastard style of wiffle® and maintaining his good fortune by convincing his spouse to continue with all this nonsense. He’s also been known to sport a kilt for no special reason and wear lederhosen while throwing haymakers at blind hillbillies.

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