Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Tournament IX:
More Fun than a Barrel Full of Monkeys!

This one went from dawn ’til dusk, as a bumper crop of Fatties joined the fray! The Fisher Fund was pleased to present the ninth annual 2008 Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Tournament from August 1st & 2nd, 2008 at Harvard Yards, near Grand Rapids, Michigan. This year’s “Bad Athlete Extravaganza” was the largest in history, as 28 teams were welcomed to the pursuit of plastic glory, beginning with opening round games during the Ice Cream Social on Friday evening. 

When the dust was settled, a new champion was crowned, as the eternal dark horse team finally cashed in. We’re Not Gay, We Just Have a Wide Stance, a partnership of Dr. Gary “Broken” Branch and Jeff “Sigmund” Freund rallied after an opening round loss to defeat 2006 Champions, Brian and Jason Braat, of Neverland Ranch. In doing so, they became the first team to ever win the title after dropping their opening game.

Pants for Peavler, led by sandbaggers Ron “Don’t Call Me” Francis and Scott “Poor S.O.B.” Graves claimed the Baxter Bowl for the unprecedented fourth time.

Outstanding performaces were many,  not all of which were on the field. Ryan Breen was voted Most Valuable Player  for the second year in a row, along with the Big Stick Award and Home Run titles. Lonnie Rucker was voted the Golden Arm Award as the best pitcher and Eric King took home the Good Hands Awards as the best defensive player of the day. After years of trying, Moop and Trey were voted Best Team Name with You Took the Candy, Now Get in the Van. 

This year’s tournament welcomed bad athletes and a couple hundred spectators from at least eight states.

The Fisher Fund, Inc and Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball is also pleased to announce the 2008 Fat Bastard Wiffle Ball Tournament benefitted two great causes this year, as we were happy to present checks to injured U.S. Marine Corporal Joshua Hoffman and Paws With a Cause from our proceeds.

Many thanks are in order for our great sponsors, who assisted us with this year’s events: Logan’s Alley, J.D. Reardon’s, Greydon’s Crossing, Cambridge House, Derby Station, Sazerac Lounge, Charlie’s Bar & Grill, Grand Appraisal Company, and Rockford Printing.

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Here are the scores for 2008:
Opening Round Games
Thank You Sir, May I Have Another 9 – Butt Cracks and Plungers 8 (7 inn.)
Sneaky Beaners 18 – Buttermaker’s Beaver 13
Sugar’s Coastie Pride Festival 14 – Pants for Peavler 8
Licky Boom Boom Down 14 – GonnaHerpaSyphilAids 0
Oh, Pickles! 19 – Donkey Punch 3
Ladies, We Have Pocket Rockets 12 – We Just Have a Wide Stance 4
You Took the Candy 15 – Drunk Again & Lookin’ 2 Score 4
Pinch the Hitter 7 – Sexy Keepers of the Keys and Grounds 2
There Are Plenty of Mohicans 7 – I Wonder if Eric is Brushing His Teeth 2
Pushing Our Luck 5 – The Bushwackers 4
Hooray Beer! 16 – Fingers Sexson Pujols 4
Baxter’s Red Rocket Has Landed on Uranus 9 – Cup of Soup 6
Neverland Ranch 10 – Dibs! 0
Rusty’s Trombone 12 – Geriatric Crew 3

Winner’s Bracket
Thank You Sir 15 – Sneaky Beaners 2
Licky Boom Boom Down 18 – Sugar’s Coastie Pride 3
Pocket Rockets 11 – Oh, Pickles! 1
You Took the Candy 21 – Pinch the Hitter 0
Pushing Our Luck 20 – Plenty of Mohicans 13
Hooray Beer! 1 – Baxter’s Red Rocket 0
Neverland Ranch 8 – Rusty’s Trombone 4
Licky Boom Boom Down 9 – Thank You Sir 8
You Took the Candy 6 – Pocket Rockets 5
Hooray Beer 5 – Pushing Our Luck 0
Licky Boom Boom Down 25 – You Took the Candy 6
Neverland Ranch 8 – Hooray Beer! 7
Neverland Ranch 21 – Licky Boom Boom Down 6

Second Chance Bracket
Butt Cracks and Plungers 18 – Buttermaker’s Beaver 3
GonnaHerpa 11 – Pants for Peavler 7
We Have a Wide Stance 24 – Donkey Punch 9
Lookin’ 2 Score 7 – Sexy Keepers 4
Bushwackers 17 – Eric is Brushing his Teeth 2
Cup of Soup 10 – Fingers Sexson Pujols 4
Geriatric Crew 13 – Dibs! 6
Baxter’s Red Rocket 7 – Butt Cracks and Plungers 6 (7 inn.)
GonnaHerpa 21 – Rusty’s Trombone 10
We Have a Wide Stance 10 – Sneaky Beaners 1
Sugar’s Coastie Pride 19 – Lookin’ 2 Score 5
Bushwackers 19 – Oh, Pickles! 3
Cup of Soup 3 – Pinch the Hitter 2
Plenty of Mohicans 8 – Geriatric Crew 5
We Have a Wide Stance 13 – GonnaHerpa 8
Bushwackers 21 – Sugar’s Coastie Pride 6
Plenty of Mohicans 20 – Cup of Soup 19
We Have a Wide Stance 9 – Baxter’s Red Rocket 6
Hooray Beer! 7 – Bushwackers 4 (6 inn.)
Pushing Our Luck over Plenty of Mohicans
We Have a Wide Stance 14 – Thank You Sir 9
Hooray Beer! 15 – You Took the Candy 5
Pushing Our Luck 7 – Pocket Rockets 1
We Have a Wide Stance 6 – Licky Boom Boom Down 2
Hooray Beer! 10 – Pushing Our Luck 6
We Have a Wide Stance 3 – Hooray Beer! 1

Championship Rounds
Baxter Bowl
Eric is Brushing His Teeth over Fingers Sexson Pujols
Dibs! 12 – Buttermaker’s Beaver 4
Pants for Peavler 8 – Donkey Punch 0
Dibs! 15 – Eric is Brushing His Teeth 5
Pants for Peavler 4 – Sexy Keepers 2
Pants for Peavler 4 – Dibs! 3
Championship
We Have a Wide Stance 5 – Neverland Ranch 3
We Have a Wide Stance 17 – Neverland Ranch 6